My Bad

What’s up, Willie here again. I’m not in a good mood at all. We lost today because of a shakeup of team chemistry, and there’s only one man ultimately responsible: me. I may be hard on myself sometimes, but let me say it. Xavier Nady was drilled yesterday and my response was far from appropriate. IF I had been paying close attention and not thinking about my fantasy team, I would have seen that Luis Vizcaino had not just let a fastball get away from him, but had indeed thrown the dirty appendectomyball. Given that the appendectomyball is one of the top three dirtiest pitches in the book, I should have immediately called upon my top batman Endy Chavez to charge the mound with Julio Franco and our other Extreme Fighting Champion, Sandy Alomar. But I guess you could say I fell asleep behind the wheel.

And so the story goes. I allow an Arizona pitcher to take a cheap shot at one of my players and things are all out of balance. What can I say, I dropped the ball. I just didn’t recognize the pitch until it was too late. I didn’t seize the opportunity to pull this team together.

Why is losing Xavier such a big deal? Well, for starters, Milledge wears number 44 and plays Right Field. Consequently, Carlos Beltran now only plays straightaway center and left center. Secondly, without Nady in the lineup, the Mets lose revenue dollars from one of our main sponsors, Xavier University. I don’t really understand the whole money thing to be honest with you, but I do know that I prefer to eat fresh.

Anyway, Alay Soler was a disappointment tonight. There are two potential solutions to this. One, find out what form of Castro is most soothing for him (poster, in person, imposter, or life size dark chocolate replica). Two, tell Omar to hurry up and put together a trade for Javier Valentin.

I don’t have much else tonight, Mets fans. Between today’s pounding and last night’s drinking (come on, what have I said about big wins), I need some shuteye. Hopefully I’ll dream up a mission for Endy to get back at Luis Vizcaino and bring this team together. Okay, rubbergame tomorrow. Ace against ace. Mano y mano. Boy, I’m too tired to even think of another phrase to use that I don’t understand the meaning of. Good night and let’s go Mets!

Outstanding!

Hey there Met fans, Willie back again. What a game! That was as thrilling a finish as you can ask for. We showed no quit today and came back against Arizona's dominant closer, Jose Valverde. Going in to the ninth, I had some concerns about our ability to come back, especially as Valverde is the consensus choice for the NL Cy Young. But I knew that we had our superstar batman, Endy Chavez coming up. (I have a question for you readers, why does everyone snicker or laugh when I refer to one of my players as "batman"? I don't get it, is there some joke I'm missing?) Endy was up hitting 9th thanks to my mastery of the art of the double switch. (Thanks Dennis!) As Endy walked to the plate, I gave Endy the sign to fall behind 0-2 and then lace a double which goes past the left fielder's glove. (If you're wondering, and if you promise not to tell, that particular play is represented by touching your nose, tapping your left bicep, flexing your right calf, putting in your finger in your belly button for two seconds, then doing a curtsy.) After that, I sat back down because I knew my job was done. As soon as I saw Endy on second, I wondered why Arizona manager Bob Melvin didn't just give up right then and there and save us all some trouble, but then again, not every manager can be as good as me.

I must say though I was a bit upset that again it was David Wright who ended up with the game-winning hit. My loyal readers know the somewhat tumultous history between David and me, and because I cannot rule out his involvement in my getting in trouble with Major League Baseball over this blog, I secretly despise him. I approached Pedro after the game and asked if he had any news regarding the investigation, and he told me he was following some leads and that he would get back to me shortly. In the meantime, look for David Wright to become a "Designated Fielder" or DF in the coming days. This technically isn't allowed by the rulebooks, so what I'll do is simply forfeit his at-bat every time it comes around. That'll teach him for maybe having done something to me.

I'm also severely concerned by Steve Trachsel's recent form. His past few outings have been nothing short of bad, and now with El Duque and Soler on our team, I see us having eight or nine starting pitchers to choose from (Pedro, Glavine, Trachsel, El Duque, Soler, Valentin, Chavez, Matsui and if his arthritis isn't acting up, Sandy Alomar), and so Trachsel's spot is very much in jeopardy. And the real reason Kaz isn't the starting second baseman anymore is because I want him spending more time with Rick Peterson. I see a dominant ace in that spry little body of his!

Speaking of Jose Valentin, what a game huh?! I've asked Omar to inquire about acquiring his brother Javier Valentin to further boost our Valentin power. I'd also love to have John Valentin, who's a manager in our minor league system, come back to the team. I know he's not related, but the opponents may not know that, and they'll probably fear him too. I just wish Jose's parents had gotten a little busier in the bedroom, then we'd be in business!

Okay fans, it's night night time. Tomorrow's a big game, with Alay Soler going on the mound. I think I've learned from my mistake last time, and I assured Soler that I won't put up any more posters of Fidel Castro. Clearly the poster is no substitute for the real deal, so I've made a few phone calls and Fidel Castro himself may be coming to Shea tomorrow. Oh boy, I can't wait for Alay's reaction! You know I don't like patting myself on the back, but I really am the most caring and devoted manager in all of baseball history. Let's go Mets!

Was I right or Was I Right?

What’s up, Willie here. I’m currently en route back to New York after a solid series win against the Marlins. We reached cruising altitude a while ago, and I’m looking out from my window seat. Both Jerry Manuel and I enjoy watching the sunset from the plane, and there were only two window seats left when we boarded (one on the east side of the plane and the other one the west). Clearly, only one of us would be able to get what we wanted. So, as I believe all grown men should settle things, we played rock, paper scissors, best of three. Good news is, I’m on a rock, paper, scissors tear. Earlier this week I beat Rick Peterson for the first time, and then today I defeat Jerry 2-0. Bad news is I still didn’t see the sunset because I fell asleep. To think I went through all the trouble of getting a seat on the east side of the plane just to fall asleep.

Anyway, speaking of falling asleep on the plane…I wrote a couple days ago about an instance of bad team chemistry, and unfortunately there was another one a few minutes ago. Endy Chavez had a long weekend and, trying to emulate my style, took a sexy siesta as soon as the fasten seatbelt sign went off. Now David Wright saw this, and decided to draw rainbows on Endy’s face to get back at him for the “back spasm” situation I wrote about earlier. Who would have thought David has a set of rainbow markers?

Anyway, a couple words about today’s game. What did I tell you about El Duque?!! Talk about instantaneous impact. Sure he only threw five innings, but I had my 2 and 2/3 innings specialist, Health Bell, to take care of the later portion of the game. I can’t say how impressed I am with the winning ways El Duque brings to this ball club. Notice how none of the Marlin infielders wanted to play defense? That’s because in his first two at bats, he used the throw the bat at the ball with two strikes trick. It scared the hell out of them. And then, when he didn’t execute it perfectly the second time, he confused them to no end by turning around and walking back to the dugout before the third strike crossed the plate.

One final note about El Duque. All the success he had today almost didn’t happen. It took me literally fifteen times to explain to him that even though I am his coach, Joe Girardi isn’t his catcher anymore, and he can’t go tell him how he’s going to pitch the Marlin batters. I wonder if the fact that the first fourteen explanations were in English had anything to do with this.

So I rested Xavier Nady again today. You may say, “Again? He played yesterday.” And so you are correct, and I must admit a mistake on my part. Yesterday I gave Nady, LoDuca, Delgado and Floyd the day off. Problem is that I replaced all of them in the lineup except for Nady. The result: my “right fielder” went 0-5. Today to my credit I remembered to put Endy in there. Speaking of Endy, I must remember to cancel the mission “back spasms: Barry Bonds” now that 715 is in the books. Okay Met fans, that’s all for now. Bring on those D-Backs!

Nice Win I Think

What's up Mets fan. Solid win by us today I think. To be honest, I can't be sure because I fell asleep for most of the game, taking what Jose Valentin calls a "sexy siesta". By the time I woke up, the game was long over, and hitting coach Rick Down told me we won. I always enjoy surprises like that.

After last night's game, Pedro Martinez told the media how he did not think he himself had actually lost, and said that he had done more than enough to win. Of course, after these selfish remarks, I had to pull Pedro aside today and talk to him. I let him know in no uncertain terms that comments like these are bad for the team, and that everything we do publicly and privately should be intended to promote team unity and to secure a world championship at the end of the year. I told him to follow my example. I endorse Subway (where you can always eat fresh) because I want our players to have the best nutrition, and I hope to soon sign an endorsement deal for Viagra because uh, you know, a satisfied team is a happy team. Of course, Pedro felt bad about what he had done after I explained it to him like this, so I told him that if he wanted to make up for it, he could conduct a secret undercover investigation and find out if David Wright was actually the one who told on me to the MLB people about my blog, as I strongly suspect. (I had earlier assigned Endy Chavez to conduct the investigation, but due to the language barrier, he misinterpreted my remarks, and hit David Wright in the back with his bat instead. This was the real reason for his "back spasms" that kept him out of Friday's game.) Pedro agreed to look into this, and I'll let you guys know what he finds.

I always like to circle up with my players before they leave the clubhouse, to keep them pumped and focused. Today, I spoke at length with Billy Wagner, and asked him if his arm was feeling strong. He responded with a question, asking "Does a striped bull moose bark like a firefly?". I had no idea what he was talking about, and considered sending Endy Chavez on another investigation, but by the weird smile Billy had on his face, I guessed he meant that his arm was indeed feeling strong. Look for Billy to make a start in the coming week.

Okay guys, it's time for me to hit the hay as we have another early afternoon game tomorrow. Let's go Mets!

Trouble in Paradise

What’s up, Willie here again. I’m in a bad mood right now. Not because we were shut down by a rookie for the fourth time this year, but because we lost because we didn’t play as a team tonight. Let me explain…

Pedro had a decent outing, but it could have been better, and would have been if I didn’t have to mess up his rhythm. As you may or may not remember, Pedro started the game with long sleeves on. Stupid you may think – it was 90 degrees with 110% humidity. But no, I told him to do it. I said, “Pedro, you haven’t won in a couple of games, so wear these super stylish sleeves tonight.” He agreed instantaneously that it would help on the mound. So anyway, a couple innings into the game and disaster strikes. I like to think my players all get along, but that wasn’t the case tonight. I was in the dugout doing what I usually do in about the third inning – checking the pitching matchups for my fantasy team – when all hell breaks loose. I’m not sure who exactly started what. All I know is that Jose Reyes was yelling something about how he would make a better DH than Jose Valentin. This of course is unacceptable, as Valentin is clearly the best player on my team at every position and would undoubtedly be most qualified to DH had President Woodrow Wilson not lobbied the League of Nations to ban it in the NL. Still, I knew I needed to put Reyes in his place right then and there. This is when I see home plate umpire Brian Gorman talking to Pedro. Pedro comes back and tells me that Brian won’t give the corners to him unless gets he rid of the super stylish sleeves. Bingo! I think. I can fix two problems at once. I’ll cut off Pedro’s sleeves so the ump won’t be jealous anymore of my team’s style, AND I’ll use the sleeves to make a rope – creating a means to have Jose and Jose settle their DH dispute. But what means you ask. The answer: TUG OF WAR. I know, sometimes I outdo myself. So it’s a rumble in the jungle of south Florida. Tommy Glavine joins Reyes’ side because he too thinks he would make a better DH than Valentin (in all fairness, Glavine is my best hitting pitcher AFTER Valentin). So I join Valentin’s side, and Jerry Manuel sets things in motion. It’s been a really long time since I last was involved in a tug of war – not since my days with the Yankees when Jason Giambi would see how many people he could defeat all by himself. Still, all you need to know is that my side won. I may have paid Rick Peterson to grab onto Glavine’s ankles, I may not have.

The end of this story is that short sleeve Pedro was bitten by a mosquito on the arm in the seventh inning and as a result things fell apart. Listen Met fans, you win some and you lose some. Things weren’t meant to work out tonight. I’ll have a talk with Reyes tomorrow and tell him he needs to keep swinging for the fences on every pitch before he starts making claims about DHing. Okay, let’s bounce back tomorrow!

Solid

What's up Met Fans, Willie here again. Great win today by us. Unfortunately due to an afternoon game tomorrow (this time, I checked ahead) there won't be much drinking going on tonight, but if I could, I would!

Tonight was Alay Soler's debut, and he seemed to be wracked with nerves in the first inning. I don't know why though. As my loyal readers all know, I'm a sensitive guy who cares deeply about all my players, so knowing that Soler might be a bit nervous, and knowing that he hails from Cuba, I decided to remodel the clubhouse into a Cuba theme for the night. I put up posters of Fidel Castro everywhere in the hopes that the image of his nation's leader would reassure him. But for some reason, looking at Fidel Castro seemed to make him more nervous! I know if I was playing in Cuba for the first time, I would love for pictures of George W. Bush to be in my clubhouse! And further, I put Castro as his catcher, but in between innings, Ramon told me that Soler kept asking him if he's related to Fidel and begged him not to kill his family. Ramon laughed about it but I didn't. If anyone on this ballclub is going to be asked for mercy, it is going to be me. I went over to Soler and told him that I call the shots around here, not Ramon Castro. Fortunately for all, Alay calmed down and pitched a solid next five innings.

As I'm sure you're all aware by now, we acquired Orlando "El Duque" Hernandez today via trade. You guys all got the scoop a couple of weeks back, and I hope you all did indeed buy your El Duque jerseys like I suggested. Since El Duque is one of a handful of aces in the game, we had to pay a lot, and we did, sending Jorge Julio (my best reliever next to Jose Valentin) to Arizona. Hopefully, El Duque will end up making this trade worthwhile.

A lot of people have asked me about Billy Wagner being used so often recently, and they're all wondering whether he'll be burned out if this keeps up. Well to them I say, I hear what you are saying. That's why tomorrow, Billy will be in center field (with instructions to only throw with his right hand), Carlos Beltran will be behind the plate, and Paul Lo Duca will go to the bullpen to be used as my closer. Jose Valentin will play second and also act as my bench and third base coach, and Julio Franco will go up and take Ron Darling's place in the announcer's booth. Either Ron or Jeremi Gonzalez will start tomorrow. Let's Go Mets!

Big Win Last Night

Hey Mets fans, Willie here. Had to sleep in today after that marathon game last night and the ensuing celebration. I know we all can agree that last night was a huge win, and with huge wins come huge celebrations. I believe I established the reasons behind this logic after our big series with the Pirates earlier this month.

Anyway, to the game. Many of you are probably wondering why I burned my best bench player so early. It was after all only the fifth inning when I sent Jose Valentin up. Well listen, my intention was to have him stay in to pitch. I know I’ve said before that he would pitch and never followed through, but I finally beat Rick Peterson at rock, paper, scissors yesterday, and as a result got to choose who came out of the bullpen for the rest of the game. But then Omar told me we still don’t have a starter for Thursday, and then I knew right away I should save Jose.

Let me discuss one other interesting incident from that same inning. I think you know what I’m talking about: the look at me I’m Paul LoDuca and don’t make easy tags at the plate play. As the manager, it’s my job to stand up for my players. That being said, I’ll admit it. It wasn’t Paul’s fault – it was mine. Endy made a hell of a throw, and the ball clearly beat the runner. So why didn’t Paul make the tag? I distracted him. How? Just as the ball was coming in, I yelled: “Look out! Butterfly!!” That may not make any sense at first, but it turns out Paul has lepidophobia – otherwise known as fear of butterflies. You see, before the game I was chatting with Pedro in the clubhouse about his garden, and he was telling me about this gorgeous Monarch he had seen the other day. Then for no apparent reason, Paul, who was clearly eavesdropping, tells me his back isn’t going to let him play. Only later in my office does he explain that the thought of butterflies bothers him so much that he can’t focus whenever people mention them. Still, I calmed him down enough and he was in the starting lineup.

So maybe it wasn’t a wise decision to yell butterfly as Pat Burrell was barreling down the line. I don’t care. I like to have fun sometimes, and I know there’s a time and place for it. I can’t help it if it that moment called for it. For all you who think I’m a mean guy, don’t worry, he got me back. Very next batter, Paul calls the forbidden homerball. I explicitly told him time and time again that LimaTime has exclusive rights to that pitch, and it’s not acceptable to call it during non-LimaTime.

One last thing from last night. Let me tell you how much I hate rules - the ground rule double in particular. How many times have we seen one of our players hit a ball in the gap that should be a triple bounce over the wall? Last night it happened again, when our top speed guy, Julio Franco, hit a ball that bounced over the right field wall. Manny Acta had already held him up at third, but noooo, send him back to second. Stupid rulebook.

Okay, there’s apparently a game soon. I was under the impression that last night’s game counted double since it was so long and we would have today off, but Jerry Manuel just told me we had to play a full 18 innings for that to happen. Time to go out and ride some momentum!

I'm Back in Business

What's up Met Fans, Willie here again. Many of you have been wondering where I've been over the past two weeks and why I haven't been posting, especially as I had been doing so every day prior to that. Well what happened is this. Some troublemaker posted the link to my blog on David Wright's MLB-approved blog. Then the guy who runs the blog site asked Jay Horowitz, VP and head of Media Relations with the Mets, if Willie Randolph had a blog. Of course, since this was supposed to be a SECRET site where I could put my personal feelings without fear of corporate punishment, I did not tell the Mets about the blog. So after the MLB blogs guy asked Jay, he came to me, and asked if indeed I was the author behind this blog. He even brought his laptop (an adorable little Mac) in and showed me the website. In perhaps my greatest acting job, I proceeded to feign being flabbergasted, and vowed to find and kill the perpetrators behind the blog. Satisfied, Jay reported back to the MLB blogs guy, who in turn posted a response on David Wright's blog saying that this blog was not written by me. Whew. I knew I had really dodged a bullet, but I also knew that I had to lay low for a couple of weeks until the heat passed. So now that that crisis is averted, it's back to Willie Time!

What a Subway Series, huh guys???! We could have and should have swept the series if not for a certain southerner's meltdown on Saturday. You know, after that game, a lot of questions were asked about my managerial ability. People said, "Willie! Pedro was scheduled for another five days of rest and to pitch against Florida, had only thrown 100 pitches and seemed incapable of giving up a hit let alone a run, why take him out?", and "Willie! Why did you take Duaner Sanchez out, he pitched a quick and easy eighth inning and Wagner had pitched the night before and may be needed the next day", and "Willie! It's clear by now that Wagner cannot pitch in any non-save situation and that he has in fact given up most of his runs in such situations and for whatever reason, he just stinks in that scenario, so why did you pitch him in that kind of situation at all?" Well to those questioners, I say, "Shut up, that's why." Let me ask you all to do something right now and I want you to be totally honest with me. Please raise your hand if you are the manager of the New York Mets. That's right, only one hand should be up, and indeed my hand is raised high in the air. Now two years ago, the job was vacant. Why didn't any of you interview? That was your chance, but you guys all blew it. Now I'm the manager and no one is allowed to question me, unless you're the owner or GM. So unless your name is George Stei uh I mean Fred Wilpon or Omar Minaya, then please keep quiet.

I was speaking with Omar yesterday regarding our rotation and I came away saddened by what he told me. Firstly, as you all know by now, Lima Time is over. Without Zambrano or Lima, our team is left with Jose Valentin as the lifeblood and we're going to have to depend on him more and more. To that end, I've asked our coaches to come up with some special drills for Valentin so that he will be able to play all three outfield positions at once. I am also scouring the rulebooks for loopholes which will allow us to bat Jose at every position as well. Although with his recent performance, I am really starting to wonder whether Valentin deserves his roster spot.

In further bad news, the aforementioned El Duque trade is off the table. Omar said that he thought I was perhaps willing to offer too much for him, and that Arizona had offered to take Lima in exchange for El Duque and they also offered to send us 5 million dollars. That's of course when I realized the truth. Arizona clearly had the wrong El Duque. If this was the real El Duque instead of an imposter El Duque, then clearly Arizona would be demanding much, much, much more.

Anyway, Omar says that the solution for now is going to be Alay Soler on Wednesday against the Phillies. I have no idea who he is nor do I intend to look up anything about him. All I know is he will be starting at shortstop, and hopefully he can give us a couple of strong at-bats. Jose Valentin will be behind the plate, and first base coach Sandy Alomar will be playing first base, while Delgado will take his place coaching. I'm still not sure who'll be pitching though, hopefully Omar will straighten that out.

I am a human being and I am the first to admit my mistakes. Therefore, I would like to admit that I made a mistake in today's game. When I brought Aaron Heilman in the game to pitch the top of the 7th, people wondered why I didn't double switch, and realized that by not doing so I forced him into a one inning outing as his spot was due up first in the bottom of the 7th. Well the truth is I forgot, okay? I was so pumped up because bench coach Jerry Manuel told me he would accept a trade I offered him in our fantasy league (I traded him Scott Kazmir for Victor Zambrano and Jose Lima) that I completely forgot. Good thing it didn't matter, as we won the game 18-3. At least I think that's the final score but I'm not sure, because to be honest, I took a nap after the 8th. Negotiating always makes me tired.

Anyway Met fans, I'll try to keep updating, and please, no one tell the Mets.

I'm Furious, Just Furious

Hey Met Fans, Willie here again. I'm in a terrible mood. Not only did we get pummeled today by the Atlanta Braves, but we also lost our best starter for the year. This was truly a terrible day. On to the lowlights:

Firstly, many of you Met fans may know Angel Hernandez as the umpire who hates the Mets. Actually, he doesn't hate the Mets, he hates me. You see, Angel and I went to the same high school, and we fought for the affections of the prettiest girl in school, Lola Jenkins. We both asked her to the prom, and because she was probably blind, she chose Angel. But I got my revenge when I filled a super soaker with cherry kool-aid and sprayed it all over his white prom tuxedo. He vowed revenge and I guess he's getting it now as an umpire. If you're reading this Angel, you win! I'm sorry, just please don't take out our personal problems on my team. Also, I'd like to point out that Angel is a girl's name and that you're probably gay.

Many Met fans were shocked at Paul LoDuca's tantrum on the field after the blown call by Angel Hernandez, and were befuddled by the fact that with the play still alive, he elected to jump up and down and spike the ball, letting it roll away and allowing the runner to get to third base. I on the other hand was delighted! We practiced that play all spring, and we finally got a chance to put it into play. There really isn't a point to the play, but it's just something my gut told me would be handy to know. I'm sure next time we call that particular play, we'll have better results.

I'd also like to point to a shining beacon of light in yesterday's game: Jose Valentin. Today, he worked the pitcher all the way to a 3-2 count, which caused the pitcher to expend a tremendous amount of energy. The result of his at-bat (Valentin walked but the umpire saw a mirage of a bat swinging) wasn't nearly as important as the intangibles like the one I mentioned. I don't know what I'd do without this guy.

Some fans have commented that they would like to have Roger Clemens on this team. Well I don't. I want to win and I don't see how Roger can help us do that. Since we definitely need a starter, I sat down with Omar after today's game and threw him a trade idea which will push our team over the edge and make us the favorites to win the World Series: David Wright, Lastings Milledge and Mike Pelfrey to the Arizona Diamondbacks for Orlando Hernandez. I had him when I was with the Yankees and I know he is the kind of guy that champion teams are built around, hence the fairly high price tag we'd have to give up. And trading Wright would finally open up a starting spot for Valentin, another bonus. If I were you, I'd start ordering those customized El Duque jerseys right now!

We're On a Roll

Hey Mets fans. Sorry about the lack of updates over the last couple of days. We've been kicking some serious ass lately, and all-night post-game celebrations have left me quite hung over. Last night, I went clubbing with Jorge Julio. That guy really drank me under the table.

Speaking of last night, what a victory. At first, I thought it was our heart and determination that propelled us to pull that one out. That is until I saw this image of Keith and Gary. When I asked Dennis the batboy about their strange apparel, he explained that they were wearing "rally caps," meant to will our team to score runs. I was struck by the brilliance of such an idea. Not long after Keith and Gary donned their rally caps, David crushed his game-winning double. Coincidence? I think not. Just like I forbid facial hair last season, I am about to make another uniform change which will impact this team in a big way. From now on, rally caps must be worn by all team members, including myself, whenever we are trailing in late innings. Expect the wins to continue piling up, because I don't think anyone will be able to stop us now that the magic of the rally cap is on our side.

We were fortunate to grab another win today, and the rally caps were unnecessary since we had established a lead late in the game. Many people are wondering what exactly happened to Zambrano on the mound today. Well, thanks to this blog, Mets fans, I am about to tell you. While pitching to Andruw Jones, he felt some slight discomfort, so I trotted out to the mound to find out if he was alright. He assured me that he was fine, and he proceeded to strike out Jones on a filthy pitch. Then he immediately jets off the mound and into the clubhouse. Needless to say, I was befuddled. After I put Oliver in, I went to check on him. It turns out he ate some White Castle before the game. I think you guys know how much of a bad idea that was. Those things slide right out of you. He had no choice but to run off the mound. When nature calls, you gotta answer. Thankfully, his stomach problem is gone. Unfortunately, in his rush to the bathroom, he hit his right elbow on the bathroom door. It looks like he's gonna be out for a while. That's why I always tell my players, "Eat Subway, and eat fresh." If he had only listened, maybe we wouldn't have lost our best pitcher.

I also would like to give credit to Carlos Beltran. He's playing exceptionally well right now, and he's really helping this ballclub. If this picture is any indication, then he is definitely back to 100%. Either that, or he's been selling some Johnny Cakes on the side, if you know what I mean. Not that there's anything wrong with that. That picture is from People Magazine's 100 Most Beautiful People Issue. Now, I'm happy for Carlos, but the folks at People have really rubbed me the wrong way. After thumbing through the latest issue, I was appalled to find that there was no mention of yours truly. Everyone knows I'm the best looking man in sports. Only Jose Valentin comes close to rivaling my rugged good looks. You know, most people tell me I resemble a better looking version of Denzel. I've had it with People. I'm canceling my subscription ASAP.

In other news, Omar informed me that tomorrow will be Lima Time. So this is a friendly reminder to set your clocks back one hour to coincide with our friends in Peru. That means an extra hour of sleep. We really need it after that marathon game last night. Our guys should be well rested for tomorrow's game. I still haven't figured out who's pitching though. Maybe Julio can go for 5 or 6. I'm really starting to like that guy. Alright fans, I'm off to get some shut-eye. Let's go for the sweep tomorrow!

Great Manager, Great Game

Hey Willie Fanatics. You know, like "Philly Fanatics," only with my name instead. Never mind. Dennis the batboy told me to use that one. That's the last time I listen to him. About the blog, of course. I'll definitely continue to utilize him for in-game counsel. Believe me, the kid knows his stuff. You can tell he's been around the game for a really long time. For instance, he taught me this thing called the double switch. It blew me away. I haven't quite gotten the hang of it yet, but I'm getting there. Rick Peterson told me it should take me ten minutes to learn. I guess he was speaking figuratively, because he was way off on that one.

Anyway, it was a good win tonight. Sure, Pedro, Carlos, and Endy played pretty well. I must say though, it was my sensational managerial performance that put us over the top. First of all, I decided to rest Nady and play Chavez instead. Like I told reporters after the game, I just had a hunch that he was gonna come through for us. So how did Endy do? 4-5 with an outstanding catch in right field. See, who said you needed a wealth of baseball knowledge to manage a big league club? I generally like to go with my gut feelings, and where has it left me? 1st place, bitches. I have a feeling that Jose Valentin is gonna have a big game tomorrow, so you should expect to see him out on the field. Well, by now, you should have come to expect him to be out there every game, but look for even more of him tomorrow. I'm hoping to get a good four or five at-bats from him. With the middle of our lineup slumping, I'm glad I have him to pick up the slack.

Speaking of Valentin, I have to tip my hat to him on a job well done tonight. After the game, several people asked me why I took Pedro out after he was dominating the Pirates on only 78 pitches. I said it once, and I'll say it again: I wanted to score a run. In that situation, there was simply no other choice than to put in the Pinch-hit Wonder. After giving Valentin instructions, I sent him out there to put us ahead. Several pitches later, he had perfectly executed our plan. You see, it was cold and rainy at Shea, and I noticed that the weather was starting to get to Snell. I told Jose to whiff three times, sending a trifecta of poweful frigid blasts in his direction. After the at-bat, Snell was ice cold. So what does he do against Reyes? He tosses one right over the plate for Reyes to drive for a triple. Valentin never ceases to amaze me. Without him, Reyes doesn't hit that triple and the run doesn't score. Valentin does the little things that don't show up in the box score. That's why I love him. I think you all could agree that we wouldn't be the same without him.

When I think back on this game, it's no wonder I have a whopping 91% approval rating on espn.com. I don't know why Beltran said he felt bad for me when he heard about my popularity. He said that he knows how much of a struggle it is to be at 98% and that he couldn't imagine being 7 percent lower. I think he was talking about something completely different. Who knows? Anway, good night. Gotta get some rest befre we take on these Pirates again.

I'm Steamed

Hi Met fans, Willie here. No "What's up" today, I'm not in a good mood. Not only did we lose to a garbage rookie on a garbage team, but I got thrown out of the game! A lot of people have asked what the conversation between the umpire and me was like, so here's a re-creation of it from the best of my memory:

Me (from the dugout): C'mon, Ump! That was a strike!
David Wright (next to me, whispering): You mean a ball...
Me: I meant a ball! That was a ball dammit!
Umpire: Shut up Willie!
Me: Don't you tell me to shut up, you're not my momma or Joe Torre! You look like a baboon!
Umpire: Alright that's it, you're outta there!
Me: Out of where?
Umpire: The game! I'm ejecting you!
Me: What??! (At this point, I leave the dugout and go face-to-face with the umpire) How can you throw me out of the game? First of all, that pitch was clearly a strike.
David Wright (yelling from the dugout): BALL!
Me: That pitch was clearly a ball! And second of all, if I give you a coupon to Subway will you let me back in the game?
Umpire: Subway sucks!

At this point, I lost my temper Met fans, and the rest of the conversation is not fit for print. Let's just say I'm furious, especially since Subway was ranked #4 out of all chain restaurants in the National Chain Restaurant Association 2005 Survey of Customer Preference. I think #4 certainly does not suck.

On to the baseball game. I had read all over the internet that many Met fans believe that rookie pitchers like Mike O'Connor tend to shut us down. So I gave our team a pregame pep talk telling them to mail it in, because our fans expect us to lose, and dammit I want our team to meet and even exceed their expectations. And boy did the guys exceed expectations! Even I did not expect that level of incompetence in our batting! We definitely made that guy look like a Cy Young winner. I'll be sure to keep tabs on him next year when I'm sure he'll be looking for a position as shift manager at a Subway in his hometown.

Today's another day as they say, and Pittsburgh is coming in with their own crappy young pitcher. Perhaps another pep talk is in order...

Told You Guys!

What's up Met fans, Willie here again. Well I don't like saying "I told you so", so instead I'll just mention that I was right and that you were all wrong. Victor gave us six strong innings and really projected an aura of confidence, and dare I say, gangsterness. I think the Washington Nationals hitters were genuinely scared of Victor and felt that if they got a hit, he would shoot them as they lined up to get on the team bus after the game. That's the kind of mood you want your ace to set!

A lot of people were critical of Jose last night after making a big out in a critical stage in the game and potentially causing us to lose the game, but I'm not one of those people. Jose is an electrifying player and I think we're only going to see Jose getting better as time goes on. By the way, I'm talking about Jose Valentin not Jose Reyes, who got thrown out at third in a key situation late in the game. What an idiot! I knew I should have started Valentin at short last night.

Last night after the game, I threw an idea out to Rick Peterson and I want to run it by you loyal blog readers as well. Since Duaner Sanchez has proven that he is incapable of giving up a run, why not start him? Imagine a starter who would give you a complete game shutout every time?! I'd be crazy not do it!

Okay Met fans, we've got a tough game tomorrow as our rookie pitcher John Maine gets a start in place of the injured Brian Bannister. (At least he'll be starting unless I can convince Peterson about my plan for Duaner...)

Bad Loss Today

What's up guys, Willie here again. I'm pretty ticked off after today's terrible performance by our team. Everyone told me, "Willie, skip Victor Zambrano, he's terrible. Let Trachsel go." Well how exactly did Trachsel do today? I bet Victor would have a hard time topping the terribleness of this particular outing! Also, a lot of people have said to me, "Willie, please hit Carlos Beltran second in the lineup, this is where he is best statistically as well as where he is more comfortable mentally." Well, to all those people, I say shut up. I will keep hitting either slow catchers or bad second basemen in the second hole and there is nothing you can do to stop me.

I'm sorry fans if I seem a little angrier than usual in tonight's posting, but the fact of the matter is that I am. All my moves backfired today! I skipped Zambrano, and got a worse start from Trachsel. I bring in Oliver in a critical spot when I probably should have gone to a better reliever, and he blew it. I put Julio in the game with us down by two runs, and he made it a 4-run deficit. I put sprinkles on my vanilla ice cream cone and when I tried to eat it, one of them fell in my eye. Nothing went right for me today! Fortunately, we're heading home to play the Washington Nationals, with my boy, "Mr. Number 3 Starter" Victor Zambrano towing the rubber. And write it down, Jose Valentin is starting at third base tomorrrow night!