Time Travel

What’s up Mets fans, Willie here living up to my promise of keeping you up to date again after my long hiatus from blogging (among other reasons, my carpal tunnels were flaring up). So this past week has been super exciting – enjoying the West Coast and all the wonders of being able to travel back in time 3 hours.

First there was our 3 days in San Francisco, the city that always sleeps. I was pretty tired from all the space-time travel on Sunday night (thanks, ESPN – at least you don’t show unflattering clips of my game face). So I basically slept through most of the series. Before Tuesday’s game I was taking a nap and when I woke up, I found out that Endy Chavez had filled out the lineup card and penciled in Pedro to start. I had no idea that Pedro was back or that they even used lineup cards on the West Coast, but apparently this all worked out well and Pedro will continue to pitch as Endy sees fit.

Now we’re in beautiful San Diego, and I must say the beaches are wonderful. I’ve been doing a lot of surfing – yes, I can surf with a little help. Don’t tell anybody this (especially the ladies who are impressed with my abilities), but the secret is that I send David Wright out on a massive deep sea fishing boat off the coast where I’m planning on going surfing. Then he uses patented trade secrets that I cannot reveal, and he creates waves exactly to my specifications, making it easy as pie to show off my skills.

Lastly, let me explain why I would order Scott Schoeneweis to hit Paul McAnulty even though I heard a rumor that doing so would cost us the game. I had found myself in a cat in mouse game with Bud Black, the opposing manager. The first beautiful morning I was in San Diego, I naturally hit up a Denny’s overlooking the beach. Let me tell you, the only thing better than Denny’s in New Jersey is a Denny’s overlooking the Pacific. Anyway, the place was pretty crowed but there was one open table. I was excited – until I was told it was reserved for Bud. I was annoyed, and when Bud showed up a few minutes later, I decided to pass the time waiting by deflating the tires of Bud’s car.

Later that day, thinking I had gotten Bud back, I was standing in line to get a delicious and nutritious Subway sandwich for lunch. So I’m next in line, when all of a sudden I see who else than Paul McAnulty driving away my ride that I left parked outside. Then, to add insult to injury, Bud Black appears out of nowhere, cuts me in line and orders the last Meatball Sub they have!

So you see, Mets fans, I had no choice but to send Bud and the Padres a message. They crossed the line: delaying my Denny’s experience and cutting me in line at Subway means war. While it cost us a game, it will help us in the rest of the series and the rest of the season. A happy and well fed manager is a better one. Well, gotta run and take on these Padres tonight. Check back soon for more updates and let’s go Mets!