Willie's World

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

In A League of My Own

What’s up Mets fans, Willie here. As the title suggests, I have something to remind you. It’s been a while, I know, but I hope you haven’t forgotten what a brilliant mastermind I am. As my Mets are in a current hott streak, I feel that this is the perfect time to talk about myself a little and how much I contribute to this organization.

First of all, let me discuss the unfortunate injuries we’ve had and the influx of young players on the roster as a result. Actually, I can’t name any of the new players, except I swear there was this outfielder named Ben Gordon for a while. Now, obviously having grown up in hood, I know my Basketball – and I’m pretty sure Ben Gordon played guard for the Bulls last season, but decided to retire and take up a career in baseball – a la Michael Jordon. This seems like a fantastic development for the Mets, but Tom Glavine doesn’t seem thrilled about having a new golf partner (no, he’s fine with Ben, he’s just hoping that he’s never in the same foursome as Charles Barkley).

Anyway, let me discuss the reason I am a huge genius and should be hired by NASA to help with their mission of sending a monkey of a newly discovered planet (I’m hoping they name it Willie’s World, after yours truly). So, if you check the scores from around baseball, you’ll notice that it says Dodgers and Mets in the National League and all the other games are in a league called interleague. I must say, an idea of this magnitude could have only come to me while enjoying hash browns and a cup of coffee at Denny’s.

You may not understand, so let me explain. A couple of weeks ago, using my charismatic speaking skills, I convinced Bud Selig to scrap the American League and create a new league called interleague that contained all the other teams except the Mets and the Dodgers. So from here on out, we’re going to be playing the only other National League team, the Dodgers.

This means two huge things. First, half of our games will now be in LA, and as a result I’ve improved the quality of night life on the road greatly for my team. Second, and just as awesomely, it now means our chances of winning the pennant are tremendous! Seriously. No more Braves or Cardinals to worry about. All we have to do is beat the Dodgers enough times and we’ll be playing in the World Series.

Think about this, Mets fans, and thank me later. I promise to start updating more often, now that I’ve figured out how to steal Wi-Fi from my neighbor and have regular internet access. Lets Go Mets!


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