My Bad

What’s up, Willie here again. I’m not in a good mood at all. We lost today because of a shakeup of team chemistry, and there’s only one man ultimately responsible: me. I may be hard on myself sometimes, but let me say it. Xavier Nady was drilled yesterday and my response was far from appropriate. IF I had been paying close attention and not thinking about my fantasy team, I would have seen that Luis Vizcaino had not just let a fastball get away from him, but had indeed thrown the dirty appendectomyball. Given that the appendectomyball is one of the top three dirtiest pitches in the book, I should have immediately called upon my top batman Endy Chavez to charge the mound with Julio Franco and our other Extreme Fighting Champion, Sandy Alomar. But I guess you could say I fell asleep behind the wheel.

And so the story goes. I allow an Arizona pitcher to take a cheap shot at one of my players and things are all out of balance. What can I say, I dropped the ball. I just didn’t recognize the pitch until it was too late. I didn’t seize the opportunity to pull this team together.

Why is losing Xavier such a big deal? Well, for starters, Milledge wears number 44 and plays Right Field. Consequently, Carlos Beltran now only plays straightaway center and left center. Secondly, without Nady in the lineup, the Mets lose revenue dollars from one of our main sponsors, Xavier University. I don’t really understand the whole money thing to be honest with you, but I do know that I prefer to eat fresh.

Anyway, Alay Soler was a disappointment tonight. There are two potential solutions to this. One, find out what form of Castro is most soothing for him (poster, in person, imposter, or life size dark chocolate replica). Two, tell Omar to hurry up and put together a trade for Javier Valentin.

I don’t have much else tonight, Mets fans. Between today’s pounding and last night’s drinking (come on, what have I said about big wins), I need some shuteye. Hopefully I’ll dream up a mission for Endy to get back at Luis Vizcaino and bring this team together. Okay, rubbergame tomorrow. Ace against ace. Mano y mano. Boy, I’m too tired to even think of another phrase to use that I don’t understand the meaning of. Good night and let’s go Mets!