Willie's World

Monday, May 08, 2006

I'm Furious, Just Furious

Hey Met Fans, Willie here again. I'm in a terrible mood. Not only did we get pummeled today by the Atlanta Braves, but we also lost our best starter for the year. This was truly a terrible day. On to the lowlights:

Firstly, many of you Met fans may know Angel Hernandez as the umpire who hates the Mets. Actually, he doesn't hate the Mets, he hates me. You see, Angel and I went to the same high school, and we fought for the affections of the prettiest girl in school, Lola Jenkins. We both asked her to the prom, and because she was probably blind, she chose Angel. But I got my revenge when I filled a super soaker with cherry kool-aid and sprayed it all over his white prom tuxedo. He vowed revenge and I guess he's getting it now as an umpire. If you're reading this Angel, you win! I'm sorry, just please don't take out our personal problems on my team. Also, I'd like to point out that Angel is a girl's name and that you're probably gay.

Many Met fans were shocked at Paul LoDuca's tantrum on the field after the blown call by Angel Hernandez, and were befuddled by the fact that with the play still alive, he elected to jump up and down and spike the ball, letting it roll away and allowing the runner to get to third base. I on the other hand was delighted! We practiced that play all spring, and we finally got a chance to put it into play. There really isn't a point to the play, but it's just something my gut told me would be handy to know. I'm sure next time we call that particular play, we'll have better results.

I'd also like to point to a shining beacon of light in yesterday's game: Jose Valentin. Today, he worked the pitcher all the way to a 3-2 count, which caused the pitcher to expend a tremendous amount of energy. The result of his at-bat (Valentin walked but the umpire saw a mirage of a bat swinging) wasn't nearly as important as the intangibles like the one I mentioned. I don't know what I'd do without this guy.

Some fans have commented that they would like to have Roger Clemens on this team. Well I don't. I want to win and I don't see how Roger can help us do that. Since we definitely need a starter, I sat down with Omar after today's game and threw him a trade idea which will push our team over the edge and make us the favorites to win the World Series: David Wright, Lastings Milledge and Mike Pelfrey to the Arizona Diamondbacks for Orlando Hernandez. I had him when I was with the Yankees and I know he is the kind of guy that champion teams are built around, hence the fairly high price tag we'd have to give up. And trading Wright would finally open up a starting spot for Valentin, another bonus. If I were you, I'd start ordering those customized El Duque jerseys right now!


  • At 5:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    you suck!

  • At 10:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    you are a pussy. show some moxie, dammit! stop smoking so much pot that it makes you complacent. take some lessons from jose valentin. at least he shows up to the game. you are like a dead vegetable.

  • At 6:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    willie, where are you??

  • At 3:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

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