I'm Back in Business

What's up Met Fans, Willie here again. Many of you have been wondering where I've been over the past two weeks and why I haven't been posting, especially as I had been doing so every day prior to that. Well what happened is this. Some troublemaker posted the link to my blog on David Wright's MLB-approved blog. Then the guy who runs the blog site asked Jay Horowitz, VP and head of Media Relations with the Mets, if Willie Randolph had a blog. Of course, since this was supposed to be a SECRET site where I could put my personal feelings without fear of corporate punishment, I did not tell the Mets about the blog. So after the MLB blogs guy asked Jay, he came to me, and asked if indeed I was the author behind this blog. He even brought his laptop (an adorable little Mac) in and showed me the website. In perhaps my greatest acting job, I proceeded to feign being flabbergasted, and vowed to find and kill the perpetrators behind the blog. Satisfied, Jay reported back to the MLB blogs guy, who in turn posted a response on David Wright's blog saying that this blog was not written by me. Whew. I knew I had really dodged a bullet, but I also knew that I had to lay low for a couple of weeks until the heat passed. So now that that crisis is averted, it's back to Willie Time!

What a Subway Series, huh guys???! We could have and should have swept the series if not for a certain southerner's meltdown on Saturday. You know, after that game, a lot of questions were asked about my managerial ability. People said, "Willie! Pedro was scheduled for another five days of rest and to pitch against Florida, had only thrown 100 pitches and seemed incapable of giving up a hit let alone a run, why take him out?", and "Willie! Why did you take Duaner Sanchez out, he pitched a quick and easy eighth inning and Wagner had pitched the night before and may be needed the next day", and "Willie! It's clear by now that Wagner cannot pitch in any non-save situation and that he has in fact given up most of his runs in such situations and for whatever reason, he just stinks in that scenario, so why did you pitch him in that kind of situation at all?" Well to those questioners, I say, "Shut up, that's why." Let me ask you all to do something right now and I want you to be totally honest with me. Please raise your hand if you are the manager of the New York Mets. That's right, only one hand should be up, and indeed my hand is raised high in the air. Now two years ago, the job was vacant. Why didn't any of you interview? That was your chance, but you guys all blew it. Now I'm the manager and no one is allowed to question me, unless you're the owner or GM. So unless your name is George Stei uh I mean Fred Wilpon or Omar Minaya, then please keep quiet.

I was speaking with Omar yesterday regarding our rotation and I came away saddened by what he told me. Firstly, as you all know by now, Lima Time is over. Without Zambrano or Lima, our team is left with Jose Valentin as the lifeblood and we're going to have to depend on him more and more. To that end, I've asked our coaches to come up with some special drills for Valentin so that he will be able to play all three outfield positions at once. I am also scouring the rulebooks for loopholes which will allow us to bat Jose at every position as well. Although with his recent performance, I am really starting to wonder whether Valentin deserves his roster spot.

In further bad news, the aforementioned El Duque trade is off the table. Omar said that he thought I was perhaps willing to offer too much for him, and that Arizona had offered to take Lima in exchange for El Duque and they also offered to send us 5 million dollars. That's of course when I realized the truth. Arizona clearly had the wrong El Duque. If this was the real El Duque instead of an imposter El Duque, then clearly Arizona would be demanding much, much, much more.

Anyway, Omar says that the solution for now is going to be Alay Soler on Wednesday against the Phillies. I have no idea who he is nor do I intend to look up anything about him. All I know is he will be starting at shortstop, and hopefully he can give us a couple of strong at-bats. Jose Valentin will be behind the plate, and first base coach Sandy Alomar will be playing first base, while Delgado will take his place coaching. I'm still not sure who'll be pitching though, hopefully Omar will straighten that out.

I am a human being and I am the first to admit my mistakes. Therefore, I would like to admit that I made a mistake in today's game. When I brought Aaron Heilman in the game to pitch the top of the 7th, people wondered why I didn't double switch, and realized that by not doing so I forced him into a one inning outing as his spot was due up first in the bottom of the 7th. Well the truth is I forgot, okay? I was so pumped up because bench coach Jerry Manuel told me he would accept a trade I offered him in our fantasy league (I traded him Scott Kazmir for Victor Zambrano and Jose Lima) that I completely forgot. Good thing it didn't matter, as we won the game 18-3. At least I think that's the final score but I'm not sure, because to be honest, I took a nap after the 8th. Negotiating always makes me tired.

Anyway Met fans, I'll try to keep updating, and please, no one tell the Mets.