Willie's World

Tuesday, May 30, 2006


Hey there Met fans, Willie back again. What a game! That was as thrilling a finish as you can ask for. We showed no quit today and came back against Arizona's dominant closer, Jose Valverde. Going in to the ninth, I had some concerns about our ability to come back, especially as Valverde is the consensus choice for the NL Cy Young. But I knew that we had our superstar batman, Endy Chavez coming up. (I have a question for you readers, why does everyone snicker or laugh when I refer to one of my players as "batman"? I don't get it, is there some joke I'm missing?) Endy was up hitting 9th thanks to my mastery of the art of the double switch. (Thanks Dennis!) As Endy walked to the plate, I gave Endy the sign to fall behind 0-2 and then lace a double which goes past the left fielder's glove. (If you're wondering, and if you promise not to tell, that particular play is represented by touching your nose, tapping your left bicep, flexing your right calf, putting in your finger in your belly button for two seconds, then doing a curtsy.) After that, I sat back down because I knew my job was done. As soon as I saw Endy on second, I wondered why Arizona manager Bob Melvin didn't just give up right then and there and save us all some trouble, but then again, not every manager can be as good as me.

I must say though I was a bit upset that again it was David Wright who ended up with the game-winning hit. My loyal readers know the somewhat tumultous history between David and me, and because I cannot rule out his involvement in my getting in trouble with Major League Baseball over this blog, I secretly despise him. I approached Pedro after the game and asked if he had any news regarding the investigation, and he told me he was following some leads and that he would get back to me shortly. In the meantime, look for David Wright to become a "Designated Fielder" or DF in the coming days. This technically isn't allowed by the rulebooks, so what I'll do is simply forfeit his at-bat every time it comes around. That'll teach him for maybe having done something to me.

I'm also severely concerned by Steve Trachsel's recent form. His past few outings have been nothing short of bad, and now with El Duque and Soler on our team, I see us having eight or nine starting pitchers to choose from (Pedro, Glavine, Trachsel, El Duque, Soler, Valentin, Chavez, Matsui and if his arthritis isn't acting up, Sandy Alomar), and so Trachsel's spot is very much in jeopardy. And the real reason Kaz isn't the starting second baseman anymore is because I want him spending more time with Rick Peterson. I see a dominant ace in that spry little body of his!

Speaking of Jose Valentin, what a game huh?! I've asked Omar to inquire about acquiring his brother Javier Valentin to further boost our Valentin power. I'd also love to have John Valentin, who's a manager in our minor league system, come back to the team. I know he's not related, but the opponents may not know that, and they'll probably fear him too. I just wish Jose's parents had gotten a little busier in the bedroom, then we'd be in business!

Okay fans, it's night night time. Tomorrow's a big game, with Alay Soler going on the mound. I think I've learned from my mistake last time, and I assured Soler that I won't put up any more posters of Fidel Castro. Clearly the poster is no substitute for the real deal, so I've made a few phone calls and Fidel Castro himself may be coming to Shea tomorrow. Oh boy, I can't wait for Alay's reaction! You know I don't like patting myself on the back, but I really am the most caring and devoted manager in all of baseball history. Let's go Mets!


  • At 9:56 AM, Blogger Toasty Joe said…

    Willie - Nice job last night. I was hopig you could give some insight into your decision to have Heilman throw a gopher ball to Tracy on an 0-2 count, with the tying runs on base. Care to comment?

  • At 10:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    like i have said before, David Wright is the only thing standing between the mets and a world series win - as evidenced by his ratting out his HOF manager and then letting endy chavez hit him in the back with a bat. he should be suspended for the season for these antics. come on willie, grow some balls and suspend him already. the fans are growing antsy and if you dont make a move soon, you will begin to hear boos. i think starting him as 'designated fielder' is a good first step toward teaching him a lesson though.

  • At 10:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hey Willie, have you thought about playing second and being a player/manager? I think Valentin is getting too big for his britches.

  • At 10:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

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