Nobody Say Fired

Hello Met fans, it's your longtime leader, Willie here. It's been a while since I've written to you. Really long. To be exact and scientifical as I always am, it's been over a light year since I've put up a post! I know you've missed me but don't fret my pet as I am back. I want to set some issues straight so my - our - squadron can get back to winning.

1. We haven't been eliminated from the playoffs yet.
I know everyone's upset that we're not winning every game. But from what I understand, it's still spring training, so these games don't count. Except the wins. Those definitely count.

2. It's not my fault that old people get hurt.
It's not. Do I need to elaborate? I mean, it's not my fault that my oldest players, like Jose Reyes and Mike Piazza are either hurt or retired. Or both. Or neither. Look, I don't know. Leave me alone.

3. SNY is racist! I haven't seen a single episode of Homeboys from Outer Space on it yet.
Q.E.D. Wikipedia it. I just proved my point.

4. If I'm fired, that'll just add one more person to the unemployment list. And that's bad for the economy. Are you against the economy??

Anyway, I'm going to turn in. This alcohol's not going to sleep itself out of my system.

Let's go Mets!