The Jordan of Managers

What’s up Willie Fans, Willie here, with a very important announcement. I am coming out of retirement, at least temporarily, to manage tomorrow night’s all star game. It is true that I am always in all-star form, and I will be in a familiar place tomorrow night while I lead the National League from the dugout.

If you thought Clint Hurdle was supposed to be managing, you were technically correct until yesterday. In the same way that Clint picked my valet and errand boy David Wright to take the place of an injured Soriano, Clint picked me to replace him, as he now too is injured.

How exactly his injury occurred is quite a story. Tensions between the Mets and Rockies were running high last weekend, as is to be expected when one teaming is dominating the other. Sometime during the early innings, the Rockies started barking at Pedro at a level beyond regular baseball trash talk in a way I cannot repeat on this blog. Still on the mound, Pedro discretely points to his groin to let them know what he thinks. However, the always attentive Mets staff mistakenly thinks there is some sort of injury. Later on after Fox picks up on this, a reporter near the dugout starts to approach to ask about the Pedro. Pedro, not hiding his feelings for ugly reporters, points to his groin – a win-win situation: Pedro has told off the reporter and the reporter thinks he’s confirmed the injury.

So the whole situation escalates to the point that Ramon Castro gives the following signs to the Rockies bench: touch the nose, ear, right hand to left shoulder, middle finger, right fist raised with left arm crossing the right arm, right hand to nose. Translation: take pitch, steal, indicator, f*ck you, f*ck you, decoy. Can you imagine, Ramon had the presence of mind to steal the Rockies signs and pick up on their indicator to let them know he was for realsies when returning the trash talk.

The end of the story is that when Clint was leaving the stadium Sunday night he stubbed his toe very badly by some strategically placed baseball equipment. So thanks to the Mets Clubhouse staff, the Mets had the last word and Willie will be back (for one game). Does anybody know who the AL General Manager is? Or his number? I need to give him a call and instruct him to trade for Josh Hamilton. See you tomorrow night, Willie fans. Check back soon and lets go NL!

Retirement is Awesome

What's up Willie fans, Willie here blogging to you on his retirement/holiday. I have to say that choosing to leave the Mets was the best move I ever made. The Mets were a sinking ship and, you know how that old saying goes, "the captain gets off the ship first", so off I went.

I haven't really followed the Mets since I left the team, but I heard a lot of rumors that they had lost a bunch of games and fell to the bottom of the AL Central, so I decided to go to today's game versus the Colorado Rookies and see if they couldn't pull out a win for their old skipper. As I sat down in my seat, a reporter found me and asked if I had any tips. Of course I imparted some wisdom. I felt the Mets would be able to win the game if Pedro got outs, or if he was out of the game, if the bullpen got outs. Ideally the Mets should not give up hits, or if they absolutely had to, they should limit the Rookies to 1 or 2, or if necessary, 3 hits. But they should absolutely not give up any runs. Of course, the Mets executed my game plan perfectly, and they won; their first win in the past 35 games I believe.

Anyway, I'm off. I have to catch my yacht for my vacation to Wyoming. Peace out Willie Fans. And f*ck you Mets!