Fan Appreciation Weekend

What’s up Mets fans, Willie here again. As the title suggests, a lot of good things have happened recently. Omar made a couple of these moves, but I helped out a little as well.

Omar signed three hugely important contracts this weekend. I’m sure you’ve heard of Jose Reyes’ deal. Then came David Wright’s deal. But this is where I come in. I told Omar to make sure David’s contract includes all the right clauses. For example, he still needs to be my personal driver, breakfast delivery boy, etc. There is also now something in there called the “David Wright Screw Up Clause”, or simply, the David Wright clause. It’s actually quite simple: every time he messes up, he pays the Mets between one and five million. But there’s one more part, which just goes to just show how bright I am. Since David has the potential to mess up so many times that he loses all of his salary and owes the Mets money he doesn’t have, I made David get a guarantor to co-sign his contract (given his history of botched grand slam plays and the like, he may lose everything in a week). This way, once the salary is gone, the Mets keep getting their money. Now, I don’t know how he did this, but apparently David did a great job forging A-Rod’s signature…ugh, I mean…getting him to go along with this.

Anyway, after this most recent episode of Willie Genius Time, Omar decided to reward me with what is very well deserved: a new, 19-year, $314.1592654 Million contract. This will ensure that the Mets keep the best manager in the game on board for most of the rest of Julio Franco’s career. This is, in my humble opinion, one of the best things that has happened to this franchise since its days as a founding member of the National League.

One last thing that was for you fans this weekend. I’m sure you know what I’m referring to. I’m talking about the beloved grand slam play, of course. Manny Acta, who apparently keeps track of lots of random stuff, tells me that we’ve properly executed the play 6 times in the last nineteen games. Now considering my Willie Break goals, that’s super fantastic! I was a little unhappy for a moment during the fourth inning of tonight's game, though. I actually put the play on while John Maine was up, but alas, failure. Still, I put it on again for you fans, and Jose came through.

Okay Mets fans, we have an off day tomorrow, which means celebration tonight, Denny’s in the morning, and BBQ in the afternoon.