It's My Birthday!

What’s up Met fans, Willie here. I’m doing extra super today because, well, what the title says. We also won our series with the Pirates after today’s victory. Let’s go through this series quickly before I get to a couple of other issues.

First there was Monday’s game, during which I was both extremely pleased and upset at the same time. I was pleased because this kid Maine made his second start for us. Every time he starts I have this contest with Jerry Manuel and Rick Peterson. First, Rick will say he can name all fifty states, then Jerry will claim to be able to name them in alphabetical order, then I state I can name in them in reverse alphabetical order by name of state capital. I always win; Rick always forgets West Virginia, and Jerry always mixes up m and n. Victories like this are my purpose in life. But anyway, as for the game, that was bad news. I knew right away things would be bad. We get back from being blown out in Boston and then I show up at the ball park only to find out my enemy Angel Hernandez is part of the umpire crew. Accordingly, I told my team not to play hard, and they listened well.

Then there was good old Independence Day, which happened to fall on the fourth this year. There’s no better way to celebrate our freedom from Canada and Mexico than play a game of baseball. In a surprising turn of events, Angel decided not to blow the call at the plate and cost us the game. While I doubt Lola Jenkins has made her way back into his life, rumor has it he and Philly Fanatic are really hitting it off well. But that’s none of my business, as long as he’s not out there sabotaging my team.

Wednesday was a solid victory, thanks mainly to my great coaching insight. As you all know, I spent a couple of years with the Yankees while David Wells was there. So, I gave my team a little talk before the game on how to go about hitting Wells, and as a result they jumped all over him in the first inning. However, I do have to give them a lot of credit – they were able to adapt my coaching on hitting the lefty Wells into useful advice on how to hit the Wells that has recently learned how to throw righty. Boy, I tell you, these pitchers will do anything (including losing 70 pounds) to keep their career going.

Today was a nice victory, but I honestly can’t tell you much about it. I’ve been signing in my head (Go Willie, it’s your birthday…) all day long, something that requires all my attention and energy. I think a few of my batters were hit, but eh, whatever, I’m not the one who has to deal with the pain.

Okay, now for the final but most important point: Pedro is in fact going on the DL and will be out until after the All-Star break. I have, naturally, banned dug of war from the dugout during games. It is still, however, allowed in the dugout before and after the game and in the clubhouse at all times. My team, my rules, and don’t think about questioning me. Also, there are all these roster things happening that I don’t understand. I believe Lima Time is back, which means I should take a look over the signs for the homerball with Paul. I don’t know anything else, except that I do have a full squad of 37 players at my disposal, and that Alay has gone back to Cuba.

Boooo – yeah. Time for some birthday celebration. I may be 52, but feel (and look) 25. (Get it? I reversed the numbers in my age to make myself younger. I know, I’m still sharp.) To continue the numbers theme, I’m calling it now: 25 shots in the next 52 minutes. Got to go, David’s brought the car around. See you tomorrow…get the Advil ready.