Willie's World

Thursday, June 15, 2006


What’s up Mets fans, Willie here. Some road trip we just wrapped up. Boo-yah! It’s getting hard to put into words how awesome I am, but I think everybody knows by now.

My impression of Philly turned out to reflect their baseball team well, seeing how they were no match for this manager.

As well as the series went, I’m going to have to bring up an objective that wasn’t accomplished. This series was of course my team’s reunion with one of my not so favorite umps, Angel Hernandez.

For reasons previously explained, Angel does not like me, and has tried to take it out on my Mets. So, it was time for some payback. I wanted to tell you guys earlier about my plan for revenge, but this plan was so big I couldn’t risk blowing it. Now that I’ve said this, you all know what I’m referring to: Julio Franco throwing his bat into left field during an at bat Tuesday night. That spinning dagger was meant to take out Angel. Julio got it almost on line, but put way too much on it. I’ve haven’t seen the Mets blow such an anticipated strike of revenge since a guy named Shawn Estes was on the mound. Anyway, I was pretty down after that, but was still determined to get back at Angel.

Angel was at second Wednesday, and I knew Julio wouldn’t be able to get him because of the angle (I was a mathlete in high school). But today Angel was at first, and I was confident Julio could get him. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of having my messenger extraordinaire, Endy Chavez, tell Julio the plan. Of course, Endy lets me down and tells Julio that Angel is behind the plate, and this time Julio executes properly and hits home plate ump Randy Marsh by letting go on his back swing. I don’t know how Endy confuses first base and home plate, but it makes me question all those stories he has told me about his experiences with um… female companions.

Speaking of female companions and revenge, let me address this little incident from Wednesday night. As many of you know, I had a little talk with Lastings on the bench after he was thrown out at home. I’m in control of this team at all times, so something needed to be done after I saw that play. Turns out he decided he needed to get back at me after I took away his gold necklace and pawned it two weeks ago. What better way to get in my face than prove that his mojo, naked without its necklace, was still alive and well by going after my very beautiful (and seven time Miss Universe) wife. (On a side note, anybody notice Angel and the Philly Fanatic today? Poor Angel hasn't gotten far since losing out on Lola). But Lastings has class, and knew better than to do something extreme. Instead he just made sure to bump into my wife before a game and told her that he’s going to score a sexy run for her. Don’t worry, there’s no trouble in the Randolph household, but I will NOT have people on this team scoring runs, never mind sexy runs, for my wife. I managed to get this all out of him, make it perfectly clear it can’t happen again, and also told him Jerry Manuel has the necklace.

One last thing, Cliff Floyd’s ankle is 100%, and has been for days. Why is he not playing do you ask? Well, he and Tommy Glavine decided to go get some Johnny’s Cheesesteaks before the game on Tuesday. Turns out Kaz Matsui somehow didn’t get fired after my run in with him Monday, and made two very, very bad cheesesteaks. Cliff’s was so bad that he still couldn’t play today. Tommy tried to tough it out, but, as we all saw, you can’t go out and play after a Kaz cheesesteak.

Okay Mets fans. One big night of celebration is on the agenda after an amazing road trip. I’m so glad to be back in the city after having to endure the horrible nightlife of Phoenix and Philly. Bring on those Orioles tomorrow night!


  • At 1:15 PM, Blogger Toasty Joe said…

    Willie - what did you say to Lastings in the dugout after his baserunning mistake? Your fans MUST know!!


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