I'm Still Awesome

What’s up Mets fans, Willie here. Back here in the office after a very long day. My last post was a couple days ago and I explained again why I am one of the best managers in the game. Today, my actions further supported that fact. After our afternoon loss, I quickly made the decision to approach Felipe Alou and told him that I wanted to make the second game double or nothing. Since he agreed to this and we won the second game we get credit for two wins and still play tomorrow, whereas if we had lost we would have been swept for the first time this year. I’ve complained about rules quite often, but I think I finally found one that helps us! Also, now that the world knows about my supernatural betting instinct, I’ll let you all know that I will be interviewing for the Marlins managing position in a few years when they move to Las Vegas. But don’t worry, I’m committed 100% to this team right now.

Funny story about the game that never happened last night. As you may or may not know, it was called way before it was even scheduled to start because of the forecast of continuing rain. Because of this of this little convenient detail, I never had to leave my neighborhood in plush New Jersey. The truth is, after many failed attempts I finally perfected the rain dance Jim, a guy from the Pepsi Party Patrol, taught me a while ago. Why did I want it to rain so bad? “The Break-Up” opened Friday night, duh. Man, Vince Vaughn is a phenomenal actor.

One last thing. The game didn’t start on time today because Jim never told me that it’s a good idea to also learn the stop-rain dance. By the time I found this out (I had to find a computer with internet access to ask Jeeves how much longer it would rain), the game was already being delayed. So it turns out Jim doesn’t know the stop-dance to the version he taught me, and only Joey, a pretzel vender, does. Thank goodness Endy finally succeeded at one of his missions and found Joey (correction, he succeeded on his second try. On his first attempt he bought all of his fellow outfielders pretzels…which, by the way, Carlos shouldn’t eat before game time if doesn’t want to miss starts because of stomachaches).

Okay, we’re going for the series win tomorrow afternoon, so I’m calling it an early night. Because of today’s doubleheader I don’t have a starter for Wednesday, so I’ll hopefully be dreaming of some fantastic ways to juggle my pitching staff. No ideas right now besides the obvious solution of having Jose Valentin pitch all 27 innings against the Dodgers. Check back tomorrow to see if I’ve decided.