Willie's World

Monday, July 24, 2006

No Sweep, I Feel Sleepy, a Sweep of the Cubs Coming

What’s up Mets fans, Willie here again. I was surprised to see nobody has posted any comments pertaining to my dream that may have been the best thing to happen to the Mets since I became manager (if you don't count LimaTime). But then again, maybe you’re mad because none of my batters were switch hitting during at bats this series like I promised. Turns out Rick Down told me this would be bad for them because it would mess up their hand-eye coordination and consequently limit their ability to arm wrestle, play checkers with two hands, and rub their stomach while patting their head at the same time. As a result, I’ve done the wise thing and decided against this idea. I know how it is. Sometimes decisions like this run the risk that you’ll get bad publicity on the back page on the Post, but as manager, I’ve got to suck it up and take the risk. Hopefully none of my loyal readers are too mad and won’t let anybody know about this decision and keep this blog on the down low. By the way, Pedro is apparently too busy “recovering” to continue his David Wright investigation, but he promised something in the coming weeks.

But speaking of sucking it up, today wasn’t much fun. The series started off well, albeit rainy, but we just can’t seem to pull off a sweep. I guess we just have a problem when we have the opponent cornered and ready for the life to be knocked out of them. By the way, this sounds, very strangely, like my time in the Yankees clubhouse when Jason Giambi would have Derek Jeter in a chokehold and demand his lunch money, only to realize they were no longer in 8th grade and now they only eat Subway for lunch since it’s awesome. (Remember Mets fans, eat fresh.)

Okay, I don’t have much else tonight – this afternoon’s loss took a lot out of me, and my afternoon backyard barbeque didn’t cheer me up because I managed to burn all my vegan veggie burgers, I mean ummm super meat with lots of meat burgers. I will, however, guarantee a sweep of the Cubs (again). I mean it this time. Considered it done.


  • At 10:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Ever since you taught them the grand slam play, we've executed it well a bunch of times. Now, someone has to teach you how to execute a double switch.

  • At 11:10 AM, Anonymous Willie Fanatic #1 said…


    As your #1 Willie Fanatic, I have a request:

    Everything you have planned on this year has worked since you are the greatest manager who ever lived: the grand slam play, the time when you used Fidel Castro and Soler pitched a shutout, and when you used Endy Chavez to vacuum. For us Mets fans, can you please put on the no-hitter play some time this season? It would be really sweet and we will thank you forever.

  • At 4:28 PM, Blogger Shea Gadfly said…

    I'd like a triple play in the fifth inning or a grand slam in the second. WFAN has these promotions Willie where they'll pay your mortgage for like a year and give you free cable. Enter & you could finally quit your day job as Mets manager, let sweet Lou take over and work full time for Subway (my wife likes the veggie sandwich too...there ain't a whole lot of meat on that sandwich).

  • At 10:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    hey man you gotta kick Trachsel in the nuts or something!

  • At 10:20 AM, Anonymous Steve Trachsel said…

    my fastball has a lot of meat

  • At 10:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    man stop predicting sweeps!


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