Willie's World

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I've Seen Better Days

What’s up Mets fans, Willie here live from Dumblanta. I’m not in a great mood right now, despite our walk-off win today. A couple reasons why. First, I’m in Georgia. Some people call this place Hotlanta, but I honestly don’t see why. Accordingly, I’ve renamed the city to reflect the IQ of the average Brave fan (who for some reason thinks they still have a shot at the playoffs). Second, the team didn’t come through for me on my prediction of a sweep. For all of you betting fans out there, I apologize in advance for the broken kneecaps. I promise that will be the last prediction for some time. Finally, there was the game today itself. A whole lot went wrong today, so let me give you a minute by minute analysis of my day.

10:45 Wake up, shower and such

11:15 Get in car to drive to Denny’s

11:16 Realize I’ve backed the wrong way out of my driveway

11:19 Figure out correct direction to Denny’s

11:30 Arrive at Denny’s and order the usual

11:36 Start eating a yummy breakfast

11:40 Pam, my usual waitress, asks who I sold my managing rights to this game since I can’t make it to Shea from Jerz in twenty minutes for the 12 o'clock start

11:44 Realize there’s a 12 o'clock start today

11:45 Leave Denny’s

11:59 Arrive at Shea after my police escort got me there in record time after doing 105 MPH in the left lane all the way on Grand Central (By the way, don’t escorts usually lead, not follow?)

12:07 See John Maine has throw a perfect first

12:10 Instruct Julio Franco to give David Wright the sign to tell Rick Peterson to tell John Maine to throw a no-hitter today, because John had a great start last time and I figured it was about time for a no-no. And I like playing telephone.

1:40 Wake up from short nap.

1:47 Realize John Maine has decided to throw shut out ball, but has also told his teammates to get no-hit in an apparent misunderstanding.

1:53 Discover that David Wright was the broken link in the telephone.

2:17 Come up with a plan of action

2:38 Reveal plan of action to team: start hitting

3:34 We win!

4:05 Usual post-victory in drink in office

7:15 Arrive at LaGuardia

7:44 Figure out way to punish David Wright

7:45 Ask David to hold onto my ax that I was brining to Atlanta in an effort to mock Braves fans

7:46 Tell airport security there is a suspicious character trying to gain entrance to the boarding area with an ax

8:25 Take off for Atlanta, but without David Wright

9:55 Arrive in Hotel room, start writing blog entry shortly thereafter

10:59 Good night Mets fans! Check back soon for my take on the trade deadline and what deals I think Omar needs to make.


  • At 10:41 AM, Anonymous David Wright said…

    Willie, I dont know what I have done to you. Please stop putting me through all that torture. I had to dodge five airport security guys!

  • At 1:39 PM, Blogger mr. met said…

    Classic post...

  • At 1:54 PM, Anonymous John Maine said…

    Willie, thank you for your support. Now just keep your hands off of my jockstrap. I already told the equipment manager to give you your own.

  • At 3:38 PM, Anonymous Alex Rodriguez said…

    Willie, I liked you more when you were making Endy Chavez do your laundry. Lay off David...everybody knows he's the best third baseman in the world.

    PS - stop spreading that nasty rumor that I'm gay. Whether or not it's true, it's just not fair to me & Derek. It has sprained our relationship and it is starting to affect my play.

  • At 9:44 AM, Anonymous Jose Valentin said…

    this is almost as good as some of my posts!


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