Willie's World

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Tony Isn't a Cardinal, He's a Stealer!

What’s up Mets fans, Willie here again after an awesome win tonight. We have a sweet home winning streak going on, and I attribute it all to me. I do so many things to make this team what it is I can’t even think of one of them right now.

We had an off day yesterday, and the time off clearly helped us in our effort today, as I spent the time at the Jets training camp interviewing players to gather information about Albert Pujols. My information proved valuable, as I effectively managed to keep him from reaching double digits RBI in one game. I’m a big believer in only setting goals that at first seem impossible to accomplish, but through the magic of the internet you can figure out a way to succeed. By the way, this trip to Jets camp almost didn’t happen because yesterday was supposed to be a travel day. Turns out there was an emergency situation at my house and I just couldn’t have the team leave the city. I’m not going to get into the personal details now. Anyway, it sure was nice of Bud Selig to move the series to NY. I guess I owe him a favor. I wonder if needs somebody to clean his house – Endy has been asking me for more work lately.

So I only have one thing to discuss about today’s game, but it’s a very hugeomongus thing. The Grand Slam Play! I know, you all love it, but let me tell you the story about tonight’s version of it. After Pujols hit his Grand Slam I knew something wasn’t right, so I naturally sent Endy on a mission. After being gone for a couple innings and picking up a pretzel for me on his way back, he shared some shocking news. Tony La Russa and the Cardinals are stealing signs! You may think you now understand how Albert was able to hit those homeruns. He knew what pitches were coming because the Cardinals knew the signs I was putting on from the dugout. Well, not exactly. It’s actually far worse than that.

I could have sworn I saw Tony touch his nose with tongue while tugging on his left ear right before Albert hit the big one. That’s my exact sign for the Grand Slam play! Tony stole my sign for the Grand Slam play! I can’t believe it! Why can’t he think of his own signs for his plays?!?! Stealing another manager’s signs is a pretty dirty thing to do. Granted, I didn’t know there was another manager in the game who was capable of putting the Grand Slam play, but I can only assume somebody on my team has leaked the information needed to put it on. Somebody will be sent on a mission tomorrow morning, the only question is who.

Anyway, after I had saw that Tony stole my sign for the GS play, I had no choice but to put it on for Carlos. Beltran got the sign first but messed it up. Delgado picked him up though, and Beltran hit half of one later on, so he can make up the other half tomorrow.

Time for some celebration, Mets fans. Today’s huge win definitely calls for some. The longer this home winning streak goes on the crazier the celebrations will get. A new pitcher appeared in my bullpen today, and I hear there’s a new outfielder coming soon, too. I’ll let you know my take on this once I figure out who they are.


  • At 4:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Ok, skip, here are just a few pointers. First, it is a time to take Pujols to a Matsui Steakhouse. Second, to avoid a problem related to sign stealing you should employ ESP to convey plays to you players, which is done with astonishing success by a German National Water Polo Team for special Olympics. You should readely adapt the best practices. On that note you should aslo start practicing Grand Slam play with two man on, as well as getting through the inning on only two pitches thrown. The development of those plays were accredited to Bobby Valentine, and were used to reach Japanese World Series. Good luck, skip, and (using the histoic phrase of the hippest sinior citizen Fran Hea...le) "stay hot".

  • At 9:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    While I was very unhappy at Tony "the cheater" LaRussa having put on the Grand Slam play last night. I am happy to report that the magic number is at 25!!!!!

  • At 11:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    you have been surprisingly easy on David Wright. i demand that he be optioned to AAA.

  • At 9:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    22 and counting!!!!!!!!!!

  • At 11:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    were you awake during tonight's game?

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