Curses

What's up Mets fans, Willie here and I am steamed. Not only did we lose 3 out of 4 to the stupid Philadelphia Pirates, which I'm still upset about, but my pitchers are dropping like flies. First, Pedro goes out, then his replacement Dave Williams (who was great on the mound and as Uncle Joey on Full House) got leg cramps and who know s how long he'll be out, then today I hear Tommy Glavine has an aneurysm. I wasn't sure what that was, so I looked it up in the dictionary and it turns out that an aneurysm is an old wooden ship from the civil war era. I don't see why that's a big deal, but I'm guessing maybe Tommy has severe seasickness. On top of all those, my best pitcher Jose Valentin is out injured too. I really don't know why we're having this rash of injuries. I feed my players Subway sandwiches for breakfast, mid-morning snack, lunch, mid-afternoon snack, dinner, post-dinner, and pre-breakfast, so I know they're getting all the critical nutrients and vitamins they need, like sugar and Vitamin 4. I'm really speechless about the latest shock injury, to David Wright. It looks like someone hit him repeatedly with my belt. Maybe this will show David that when I tell him to detail my car, I don't mean write me a list of all the specifications of my car.

After our off day tomorrow, we head to St. Louis to begin a critical 3-game series with the Cardinals. Right now it's a bit of an adjustment period for the team, having moved from Arizona in the offseason and switching sports from football (or soccer as the Europeans call it) to baseball. I think the key to beating them will be scoring more runs than we give up, and making sure that their big bat, Mark McGwire, doesn't beat us. Let's go Mets!