Willie's World

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

First in the NL East, First in my Fantasy League

Hey Guys, Willie Randolph here again. I took a power nap in my Embassy Suites hotel room and woke up and did my usual morning internet rounds. First I checked the New York Post gossip section to see if I was mentioned. Their new correspondents are clearly losers who don't know where the hot clubs are, because I'm there every night, yet I'm never mentioned. Whatever. Next stop was to my Yahoo Fantasy Baseball League where lo and behold, my team, The Willie Wonkers, are in first place! Hell yeah bitches. I remember the trash talking people gave me at the draft. People said I had no idea what I was doing and that I "had no concept of what a good player was". But my early first place showing has proven them wrong. Let me go through the brilliant maneuvers which has led to my early season successes:

1. I landed the first pick randomly, and I selected the indomitable Moises Alou. People suggested I should have drafted Albert Pujols or Alex Rodriguez or even my very own Pedro Martinez, but I know baseball, and Moises Alou was my #1 pick. So far, he has not disappointed. What was my theory behind the pick? Well, I knew Felipe Alou would bat Barry Bonds ahead of Moises, and I know that some managers would be inclined to walk Barry Bonds to pitch to Moises. Using my power of deduction, I knew this would lead to great RBI opportunities.

2. For my next pick, people expected me to go with Pedro Martinez. Incredibly, he was still available as my turn came around, but I knew that I had more pressing needs on my team. Namely, center field. Fortunately, as the manager of the New York Mets, I am in the enviable position of having one of the major league's best center fielders on my team. With my next pick, I drafted him before anyone else could. And that's how I became the first person to ever draft Endy Chavez in any form of anything. People said to me, "Willie, how many at bats is he going to get?", and "Willie, Chavez looks like he's ten years old and he is definitely severely malnourished." Well, somehow I knew that Endy would be getting a lot of quality at bats. Watch for tomorrow's lineup, there might be a new man in the cleanup slot...

3. After those two phenomenal draft picks, I let the computer do auto drafting while I went to to the bathroom. The chimichangas that Victor made for me the other night when he came by to discuss pitching and life over some wine really went through me. By the time I was done, it was time for the last pick. Of course, I knew exactly who I would take. Someone who would enable me to have versatility at 1B, at 3B and in the OF positions: yes, the mustachioed wonder, Jose Valentin! At first I drafted John Valentin by accident and I was really worried that someone would take Jose off the free agent wire before I could make the switch, but for some reason no one took Jose and I was able to grab him. Needless to say, some people are regretting that particular snub. But I'm certainly not one of them!

I'll try to update later and give you guys a sneak peek at my lineup. I ran my Reyes playing SS and 3B idea by Rick Down and he seemed to like it. But I'll admit I'm not sure exactly which one Rick Down is. He is the guy who brought my room service this morning isn't he?


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